Posted in Adoption, autism, Family, Health, Journal

One of THOSE days

So TV glamour aside – the reality of living with Autism in the family.

I ended the weekend totally exhausted. Went to work determined to leave it all behind me and concentrate on a major project which culminates tomorrow – when we retire two old websites and divert all the users to the newer current one. Tomorrow is going to be a late one.

First thing I get is a hitch in that process. Second – and before I get to look at that – another site we have has a major problem! It’s main functionality stopped completely.

Deep breath! Put aside the planned work for today – deal with this.

A phone call from the wife – Our youngest -the one with Autism – who has to face a long journey on a bus to get to school every day and has been struggling with it – has finally snapped. Just like we had been warning them – and asking them to change his transport arrangements – to no avail. He has flipped out and hurt other children. Now the bus company are refusing to take him anymore. Not even to bring him home.

So now we have an issue. I now have to get these jobs done quicker as I have to leave early to pick him up from school.

So bang – get one done. Bang get the other one done – need to get them tested and live.

Another phone call from the school.

Now – he has had a fall at school and had been rushed to A&E.

Got to get this fix live! Now! And leave!

Raced over to get him as my wife is in the hospital for heart cardiac rehab.

By the time I get him home and safe my heart is racing and chest is hurting so bad I think I might be joining her pretty soon!

I would say I can’t take many more days like this but this is becoming normal for us.

Oh for the easier days!

I am just thankful I have an understanding employer.

Advertisements
Posted in Family, Fiction

Deep Recall

Memory is an odd thing. Things you thought you had forgotten can still be in there buried deep.

I can remember the first book I read – I mean the first proper story book rather than just a kids picture book or short fairy tales.

It was an Enid Blyton one – probably not so well-known as her others but the title and the cover stuck with me ever since.

It was Hurrah for the Circus!

hurrah-for-the-circus

Of course over my childhood it eventually got lost – maybe passed onto my younger brothers. Whatever happened to it I always remembered the feeling I had when I finished it. Like a loss. It sold me on reading for the rest of my life.

Even up until now I could remember the first line of that story.

Oddly though – nothing else – not the story, the characters – nothing!

About 10 years ago – maybe more, I spotted it in a second-hand bookshop. Identical copy of the one I had! I snapped it up!

It sat on my shelf for years. I never reread it – well it was a kids book and I had way too long a list of other books to read.

I would, I thought, read it to my kids one day. If they wanted me to.

Well last night was that night. My son wanted me to read to him I had exhausted his many books – most of which involve minecraft and lack any real story content. Tonight I decided to read him a proper story.

I still had no idea at all what it was even about – completely forgotten.

But as I read it – nearly every single sentence was instantly familiar. Though I could not tell you what came next – I remembered what I was reading with a vivid recollection! Remembering where I was when I first read it and how I felt and the images that were being conjured then came flooding back! It was incredible.

I only hope that my son gets the same from it, that it gives him the same passion for reading, though I suspect he is already there on that score.

Posted in Family, Health

Coming Back to the Blog

The attentive amongst you will have noticed that I have been quiet lately. Posts have been going up of course – but they are the ones I scheduled a long time ago.

I have had other things on my mind.

Two weeks ago my wife went into Hospital to have a Aortic Valve and Aorta replacement. I dropped her off at Kings College Hospital and had to leave her. She was booked in for the op the next day at 12pm. The care was superb. Then and throughout. She was due to receive a new type of valve – described as the RollS Royce of replacement valves. The surgeon was one of -if not the top – in the country.

None of that helps when I was on the train heading home while she was left there. But I was not allowed to stay and I had to get back and take over looking after our kids. Grandparents are good but they have their limits 😏

It was the culmination of a stressful time. I had just started a new job – only been there 3 months and now I was having to ask for time off. On top of that we then received news that our youngest – who has autism is likely to be transferred out of his new school. The one he had been sent to because it was recommended as being the best school to deal with his needs!

It never rains…..

So the next morning I was up early. Got the kids off to school and onto the train back to London.

It was cancelled! No problem! I had left early just in case of something like this – the next train would get me there with 10 minutes to spare. So I am on the train trying to calm my nerves and Rachel’s with texts to say I was on my way – when they announced suddenly that the train would now not be stopping at Denmark Hill! Instead it would go straight to Victoria from where I would have to get a train back to Denmark Hill.

Shit! This meant that I was not going to make it. My wife was going into the most important operation of her life without me. An op that there was every chance she might not come out of.

I was not happy with Network Southeast at that point – to say the least.

I finally got there at 12.30. Rachel was still there! The op was delayed. Some good luck at at last!

So an hour later she went in and I got to see he off and wish her well.

She was in for 5 hours. During that time I wandered around the Denmark Hill area and had lunch though I couldn’t eat much. While I did that the surgeon went to work.

He cut open her chest, sawed her breast bone in two and then spread open her rib cage. This apparently puts a huge amount of pressure on the shoulder blades – almost to the point of breaking them. The nurses told us afterwards that when he saw Rachel’s ailing valve he was shocked at how bad it had become. He said she had been extremely lucky that it had not failed already. She had had a lucky escape there.

The operation went well. The breastbone was stitched back together with wire – which will remain there, the rest was done with normal stitches that will dissolve in time. Once it was over she was sent to the cardiac recovery unit where I was allowed to see her at last.

This was when the emotional wave hit me. To see your loved one with so many wires and pipes and dressings, looking so helpless is scary as hell. She was still deeply asleep, she had a breathing pipe down her throat which I knew she would have hated had she been awake. Even in her drug induced sleep she was trying to get it out and the nurses had to hold down her arms gently.

The care in this ward was again superb. The nurses had to watch the patients constantly. Never taken their eyes off them. They had little time for me but that was not a concern, it was how I wanted it.

Watching her there like that was hard, there was the fear mixed with the relief that she was through the worst. I was worried about how much pain she would be in when she awoke. Worried about what the future held.

But on top of that were memories. I had seen her in a very similar state before. All that came flooding back and I was back in another hospital room watching my newborn son die in my arms.

I nearly didn’t get through it all then. I was waiting for the time when they would wake her up and remove that breathing pipe. Then I knew that she would be more comfortable and that she would know I was there for her.

Before that time came though – visiting hours came to an end and they would not let me stay. they were very strict on that.

So I had to leave he to wake up alone and in a strange place. That was hard. It was a hard getting on the train back home – the only thing that helped was that I knew my kids needed me back home.

Yet this was just me – I was not the one who had been through the operation. I could not begin to imagine how Rachel was feeling – how she would feel when she awoke.

When I got home I rang to find out how awaking her had gone. The breathing tube was out and she had gone straight back to sleep. That made me feel a little bit better.

Over the next 6 days the nurses and doctors imposed an efficient, hard but caring regime in order to get Rachel back up to speed. She went from beings very drugged and unresponsive to walking around the ward in a surprisingly quick time. The staff were very understanding and took everything we said seriously. They were superb. We trusted them completely and therefore were able to accept the way they pushed her to recover.

She is now home. Still very fragile but improving slowly each time. We have had a close call, a brush with death. Rachel is under the influence of a lot of drugs so there are bad dreams, even hallucinations but she is already looking forward and feeling hopeful again.

For my part, it has made me think deeply. There are changes I need to make – just need to figure then out – and stop the everyday trivia from getting in the way of making them.

I would like to conclude this ramble by saying a few things. One  – a big thank you to all the staff at Kings College Hospital- especially Professor Wendell, and to our local Doctor who picked up the issue in the first place – an issue I suspect had been there for a long time but missed by her previous Doctor.

Secondly, an equally big thank you to our family who have all been there when it counted. Helping out with childcare and housework!

Thirdly – thanks to my new work colleagues for being so understanding.

Finally – I would just like to say – well done to my wife! I am so proud of how you have handled it with bravery and grace. I doubt I would have been as good.

But then – that’s why I married you 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in Creative Writing, Family, Haiku, Health, Poetry, Writing

Sore Heart

By Scott Bailey © 2017

My wife’s precious heart
Is in need of attention
The surgeon awaits

 

Well, these two prompt words could not be more apt! My wife is facing major heart surgery this weekend! Consequently – I may be a little quite on here for awhile.

 

In response to RonovanWrites #Weekly #Haiku #Poetry Prompt #Challenge #170 Heart&Need

#Ronovan Writes Haiku Challenge

 

Posted in Family, Health, Journal, Work

Beers Against Adversity

I am not a big drinker, for a number of reasons. I couldn’t afford it! I can’t take it. I very rarely get the chance.

Well, I had the chance this weekend. And I needed it.

It’s been trying. My wife has been unwell, her heart condition being exacerbated by viruses and colds. We have money worries piling up and our youngest is struggling with his behaviour at school – we have been summoned! We suspect they have forgotten the fact that he has ASD!

So I had a works do – all expenses paid. I was only supposed to go out for a few – but you know – that third one always persuades you otherwise. Plus it was a bit of a celebration having passed my three-month probation in my new job.

So it turned into a full night. An epic night.

A very long hungover Saturday.

I have to say a big thank you to my wife who understood. It might be some time before I can enjoy something like that again. Despite how she was feeling she let me have that time. Even took the kids out the next day to spare me.

Now we have to face the next hurdles. A visit to the school. A trip to the hospital for her pre-operation checks, then waiting for the phone call.

In between, we are trying to squeeze in time for our eldest who is getting his time with us squeezed by all this. He wants to start clarinet lessons! That, I really want to nurture.

Somehow, strangely, against all expectations, a debauched Friday night has made me feel better able to face it all.

 

Posted in Adoption, Family, General, Health, Writing

Jounalling Again

Spent some time this evening looking back over very early posts on my blog – most of which were of a journal nature back then. It’s been quite emotional and informative. So much so that I have decided that I need to get back to it. In a few years time – if I read my blog now it will only have poems on it!

So you may see the odd one crop up now and then – though most I will probably keep private.

So to begin with anyway a quick precis of my life at it stands.

There have been a lot of changes.

Having lost one child we adopted – that was a stressful experience and a trying time. Now he is a loving member of our family – our son. Since he arrived we have also discovered he hs Autism. That’s a whole new cartload of stress – but at least knowing has helped and he is making good progress now.

All my old posts about my job were largely about the stress factor! This continued and continued until it reached a critical point. So now – and for other reasons too – I have a new job. I am three months in and so far – it has been the best decision of my life! So much better! A different world altogether. My only regret was that I didn’t do something sooner – but then this position was not there and it’s been ideal.

Finally, the other big thing in our lives at present is my wife’s impending surgery. It’s a major operation with hopefully life-changing – life improving consequences.

For all these reasons writing has taken a big back seat – but I plod on – as it’s the only outlet I have to keep me sane!

That and the occasional (very occasional) beer.

Let’s just see how long I keep up the journalling aspect this time 🙂

 

Posted in Family, Health

A Nature Weekend and Bird Watching Challenges

Reposting as it fits today’s daily prompt nicely!

This weekend we decided to relax a bit and get out and about in the country. This was partly down to my musings about bird watching. My wife wanted to do some walking, as did I, rather than cycling this time around. The two things – bird watching and walking – immediately made me think of the marshes near us. Haven’t been there for years and what a surprise! It’s always been a lovely place to walk, now it has been taken over by a wildlife trust and they have made some great improvements – including installing some bird watchers hides.

After that, we went to a local woodland park that used to be a gunpowder mill. I have never been there – tough Rachel and the kids have. Again I was pleasantly surprised.

Anyway here are a few pictures of the day – and I am hoping there some ornithologists or keen birders out there who might help identify some of these.

Trying to capture swallows! Rare to see them these days and so low as well.
An oystercatcher? Or a lapwing? anyone know?
Again – what are these big black birds? There are some other angles later on. I think they may shags? Or are they just geese? I need a better telephoto lense.
I know this one! A heron in the reeds 🙂

Posted in Family, Health

A Nature Weekend and Bird Watching Challenges

This weekend we decided to relax a bit and get out and about in the country. This was partly down to my musings about bird watching. My wife wanted to do some walking, as did I, rather than cycling this time around. The two things – bird watching and walking – immediately made me think of the marshes near us. Haven’t been there for years and what a surprise! It’s always been a lovely place to walk, now it has been taken over by a wildlife trust and they have made some great improvements – including installing some bird watchers hides.

After that, we went to a local woodland park that used to be a gunpowder mill. I have never been there – tough Rachel and the kids have. Again I was pleasantly surprised.

Anyway here are a few pictures of the day – and I am hoping there some ornithologists or keen birders out there who might help identify some of these.

Trying to capture swallows! Rare to see them these days and so low as well.
An oystercatcher? Or a lapwing? anyone know?
Again – what are these big black birds? There are some other angles later on. I think they may shags? Or are they just geese? I need a better telephoto lense.
I know this one! A heron in the reeds 🙂

Posted in Family, General

A Bird Resurgence

As you might have seen from my last post I have been watching birds! Not exactly bird watching in any real sense but as we have been driving around, walking and cycling all about our little village I have been noticing the birds more and more.

Now I don’t know if it’s just me but there seems to be a bit of a resurgence in the number of species.

I used to bird watch when I was a kid – I had the eye spy books on both British birds and their eggs! I have forgotten most of it, never really paid it much attention after hitting puberty!

But when my oldest son was starting to show an interest in wildlife I thought it would be a good way to fan those flames, and it rekindled an old love for me.

This was a few years ago and when we tried it seemed we saw very little variety, just sparrows, thrushes and blackbirds. That didn’t really interest a five-year-old much and it got dropped a bit.

However this year I have noticed a change. We have seen all kinds of the kind that I used to get excited about – especially the more colourful ones. We have seen pied wagtails, chaffinches, goldfinches, blue tits and even a few woodpeckers. Today, while out cycling, at the top of the hill we saw a large bird of prey soaring and being mobbed by crows or ravens. I couldn’t tell you what it was – I would hazard it was a buzzard – but was big!

I wonder if there are any ornithological experts out there who could tell me whether this is really a trend or is just I am opening my eyes properly for the first time in a long time?

All pictures are from pixabay.

Posted in Family, General, Health, Work

Bouncing Frogs and Manic Birds

It’s been a strange week. I have taken some time off. Partly because the kids are on half term. Partly because a week today I start my new job so not sure when I will next be able to take time off for a while. Partly because we are still reeling a bit from the news that my wife is facing some serious surgery. Finally, because our youngest, having been diagnosed with ASD, and the mainstream school he was at being unable to cope – he has changed schools and went for his first day there today. So We have had to support him in this – and his brother who now has to cope with the fact that his little brother won’t be at school with him.

For someone with ASD it had the potential for disaster. He has had so much change in his life already, now he has been taken away from all the friends he made at school and has to face a long journey on a minibus with strangers to go to a much larger – but admittedly better – school. He managed admirably on his first day. Time will tell what the effects will really be. At least he will get proper attention now. He has gone from a class or 29 to a class of 6! With 4 teachers!

But all that’s just life. There were some oddities during this time off.

The first was late one night when we awoke in the middle of the night to an awful racket outside our window. It was a bird giving an alarm call and going totally mental. We looked out the window and I caught a glimpse of a cat slinking away with a dead bird in its mouth. I feared that it had got one of the noisy bird’s chicks. My wife – who can’t stand to see an ant hurt – raced out in her nightie to try to find the cat – all in vain. But the bird was still making a racket. So Rachel turfed your’s truly out of bed to go and take a look. After hunting around and finding nothing for ages I finally discovered another cat lurking in the shadows. After shooing it away the bird was finally silent. All kind of weird but ever since every time I go out the front door the same bird flies down to a nearby fence and sings at me. Rachel is convinced it is saying thanks for trying to help.

We must have weird wildlife around here as it gets stranger. A few days later while cycling back from the park with the kids, we saw that one of our neighbours was giving away a mini trampoline. One of those with a bar to hold on to – for toddlers really. We snapped it up. Our youngest loves nothing more than to bounce. On beds, on my back – anywhere! Well, that night we started to prepare our living room for some DIY (painting). This – against my protests – turned into actually doing the painting and went on to 3am! Once we finally got to a stopping point I went out into the garden to put some stuff away in our shed to find – I swear this is true – our resident frog jumping on the trampoline!

The frog – actually a whole family – appeared a few years ago and can be seen quite often in the garden at night. This is especially odd as we don’t have a pond! Nor do any of our immediate neighbours!

I just wish I had it on camera.

Oh well, back to work tomorrow. Three more days then a job of ten years comes to an end. Will be very strange.

Posted in Creative Writing, Family, Financial, Health, Work, Writing

Long Time No Write!

So this month is turning into a nightmare – writing wise – and in other ways. This has largely been down to the fact that I have felt ill for most of it. Running a high temperature and feverish. I can’t afford to take any time off sick and have been crawling into work, making it back home and straight into bed most nights.

All this has had a detrimental effect of our youngest’s autism and he has been a handful, to say the least – in turn, this has had a knock-on effect on our eldest.

To make matter worse – my car has been out of service. It has taken three garages to work out what it was and fix it. I started off using public transport at first but when the Bus broke down it just about finished me off. I ended up having to hire a car. So much money down the drain.

I was feeling a little better over the last few days but of course, there’s so much to do now to catch up. One of those things was to tighten the security on all the kids’ devices. That’s when I discovered that the Microsoft account on my eldest was not working. He could not log into anything – for example, One Drive as it was asking for a parent’s permission. Ok, I followed the steps but this did not work as it was insisting on a US based credit card. It proved impossible to do what they were asking. So I contacted Microsoft, who didn’t believe me. I spent 4 hours going around and around in circles. It appears that when setting up his account originally I must have set it to US. by mistake. Simple – they said  – get him to log in and reset the region. He can’t log in!

ME: He can’t log in without my permission!

THEM: OK you give him permission. I can’t! That’s why I am contacting you.

ME: I can’t! That’s why I am contacting you!

THEM: Just enter your credit card details at this link.

ME: The link I told you insists on a US. based credit card so I can’t complete it.

THEM: Ah, that would be because his region is incorrect. Get him to log in and change the region.

ME: @#@!ing hell! He can’t LOG IN!!!!

Four hours! Four hours of this before they admitted it can’t be done. Then they asked me to Fax them his details. Fax! FAX! Is the Microsoft help department still living in the 80’s! I can’t remember the last time I even saw a fax machine. I certainly don’t have access to one.

Starting to feel the mania creeping in!

Anyway, there was one bit of good news amongst all this garbage. I should be ecstatic and singing about it but all the rest has just left me feeling so drained I haven’t really had time to think about it properly.

I have got a new job! Accepted the offer and last week handed my notice in. It’s going to be a big change. Been in the same job for 10 years – time to blast away some cobwebs!

Posted in Creative Writing, Family, Health, Poetry, Self Publishing, Work, Writing

Blogging Lull

I had one last week. May continue into this week.

I was on annual leave last week. Note leave – not really a holiday – most of the days were spent in hospitals, job interviews and other appointments. But still, did manage some days out with the kids including a trip to London to the Science and Natural History museum. Ambitious for us – especially with an autistic 4 year old. It was challenging but overall very worth it. Things were much better than other trips we have had so there has been improvement.

This week has started with my car breaking down on my first day back to work. Not a good start. However, things have improved with some good news – but that’s for later.

What writing I have been doing has been concentrating on editing my epic poems. One is terrible!  But lots of editing will redeem it. The other – which was originally supposed to be the libretto for an opera  – I still really love and needs little work. It might be the best thing I have written for ages. Maybe it’s just me. Will be interesting to see if others have the same preferences, is anyone reads them.

 

Posted in Family, General, Health, Journal, Work

What a Week

I have been quiet – nothing but my scheduled posts ticking away to keep the blog going.

There has been good reason. I just had the week from hell.

First, there was work. I have been feeling like crap but struggling to work only to get there and the stress levels have gone stratospheric. Everyone is feeling it and no-one – myself included is dealing with it very well – so no-one can support anyone else.

That alone would be fine – not feeling well didn’t help matters.

It was a short week. But not for good reasons really. Thursday and Friday we were stacked with Doctors, Hospital and School appointments.

For my wife – who has what could be a serious, life-changing heart condition developing. We have to now wait for more appointments and results on that one. For now, she can hardly walk up the stairs without being out of breath as she is not getting enough blood. – Though it may also be being affected by her asthma so we have to see which is the worse factor.

While we were there we took our eldest son to the doctors thinking he had tonsillitis again. The doctor  – she must have some hunch – asked for a urine test. Three hours later they were on the phone telling to go to the hospital and get a blood test. So the next day was spent doing that – this involved me having to hold him down screaming and sobbing while they did it. It wasn’t painful but he has had some bad experiences with needles and hospitals before so was very freaked out about it.  It is heartbreaking.

So there’s more waiting for results – we don’t really know why either.

In the middle all of that – literally – I had to squeeze in a job interview!

Just as all the appointments and visits were done – my wife and both my sons went down with what appears to be the norovirus. They have all been very very sick. I have been up to my elbows in – well you don’t want to know.

My brain has been fried, I have had very little sleep and I need a year off. Can someone arrange that? Please?

One tiny bit of good news today – I reached 1000 followers at last!

Posted in Family, General, Poetry, Writing

Intentions

Intentions

By Scott Bailey © 2015

“It was just a bit of fun”

To the broken hearts and home

“I meant no offence”

To the victims of riot and guns

“I was just following my dreams”

To the crushing weight of debt

“I will never do it again”

To the frightened wife and child

“I was trying to save some cash”

To the shattered future lost

“I thought I knew best”

To the chances that are gone

“My intentions were good”

To the consequences of action

Posted in Family, General

Alexander’s Half Term Adventures

This one spookily fits today’s Daily Prompt. #DailyPrompt

A bit of guest post here – from Bailey junior – courtesy of homework duty.

Alexander’s Half Term Adventures

By Alexander Bailey

My family and I went for an adventure in the park.

First, we went over the bridge to play pooh sticks.

Also, we went on a nature walk and rare yellow 7 spotted ladybird.

Photo by Scott Bailey
Photo by Scott Bailey

Next, we climbed a really big hill that had a windy path that led to a secret hideout. Also, the path was very steep.

20170219_150222 20170219_150623 20170219_150633

We also saw more hideouts.

20170219_145129 20170219_150004 20170219_151518

After that, we rolled down a grassy, muddy hill.

Then we went bird watching and saw some ducks and a dove. After that, we played pooh sticks again.

20170219_152823 20170219_153337

On last Thursday I went scootering with my grandad and cousin.

We also made a den at home.

20170218_155901

The End

Posted in Family, General

Alexander’s Half Term Adventures

A bit of guest post here – from Bailey junior – courtesy of homework duty.

Alexander’s Half Term Adventures

By Alexander Bailey

My family and I went for an adventure in the park.

First, we went over the bridge to play pooh sticks.

Also, we went on a nature walk and rare yellow 7 spotted ladybird.

Photo by Scott Bailey
Photo by Scott Bailey

Next, we climbed a really big hill that had a windy path that led to a secret hideout. Also, the path was very steep.

20170219_150222 20170219_150623 20170219_150633

We also saw more hideouts.

20170219_145129 20170219_150004 20170219_151518

After that, we rolled down a grassy, muddy hill.

Then we went bird watching and saw some ducks and a dove. After that, we played pooh sticks again.

20170219_152823 20170219_153337

On last Thursday I went scootering with my grandad and cousin.

We also made a den at home.

20170218_155901

The End

Posted in Creative Writing, Daily Prompt, Family, Poetry, Writing

Tremble

So, either it has snowed in our bathroom, there has been the mother of all cocaine parties or somebody who will remain nameless (starts with an L end with an M few vowels in between) has found Mummy’s talcum powder.

I don’t know what my kids will be when they grow up – but one way or another they will make the world tremble.

In the meantime – here’s an old poem that fits in with today’s prompt.

By Scott Bailey 2014

I have seen giants
Striding over the land
Power on their shoulders
Stern and strong their hand

Never do they falter
Never seen one stumble or fall
Always do their duty
Always answer the call

Through storm and wind and rain
The carry their burden true
Though other links may burn out
The giants stride on through

So remember this and tremble
Even the giants will pass
Fall into dust and rusty ruin
Scattered in untamed grass

One day their burden will dissipate
Their purpose will disappear
And the duty they discharged so well
A memory dimmed with time

In response to the daily prompt Tremble

#DailyPrompt

Posted in Daily Prompt, Family, Health, Writing

Overwhelming

So today’s prompt is overwhelming. Couldn’t have been more appropriate. I wouldn’t say it was the last straw but I can see the camel’s back straining.

I don’t know what is happening but there has been a constant stream of bad news after bad news. Money, work security, autism, and health issue after health issue. Spent the entire day at the hospital today with no real outcome as such.

Normally I would say this is exactly the time to write – the get it all out – but today I am just too tired for it – to try and write poetry anyway.

On the flip side – I am also overwhelmed by the support from the family rallying around and helping out – even though many of the health issue bearing down on us belong to them!

Need some good news – a chink of daylight – just to aim for right now.

In response to the daily prompt Overwhelming

#DailyPrompt

Posted in Creative Writing, Daily Prompt, Family, Poetry, Self Publishing, Short Stories, Writing

New Year

It was rough last year. I am not just talking about celebrity deaths.

We as a family have had it rough. We have had family members in and out of hospital, having to deal with a diagnosis of Autism for our youngest and his so far very rocky transition into school. I have had work stress and uncertainty. We have seen our social lives and our house being slowly taken apart. I have seen my writing dreams slip away.

Midlife crisis? Maybe.

I have to cling to hope. It is the only thing left.

So not really new years resolutions as such but goals I am aiming for this year.

To find a new job. But not just another role. I need to get back to enjoying work again. That has been totally destroyed of late – I had thought beyond hope – but if I give up hope then all is lost. I have been thinking about a total career change and that’s the way I will try to go.

To improve our daily lives by trying new techniques for dealing with Autistic behaviours.

To reinvigorate my writing dreams. To help with this I will attempt to complete the daily prompt as well as Ronovan’s Weekly Haiku Challenge. This is purely to get my juices flowing. Behind the scenes, I will try to put together two more poetry collections for publishing as well as another short story collection and a new novel. Ambitious but I must attempt it.

I wish everyone a happy new year and hope you all attain your own dreams and goals.

In response to the daily prompt Year

#DailyPrompt

Posted in Creative Writing, Daily Prompt, Family, Poetry, Writing

Circle Of Five

Circle of Five

By Scott Bailey © 2015

One is a mother – caring and fierce
Two is wife with perceptions that pierce
Three is a woman Kind and strong
Four is a friend to help me along
Five is the lover tender and sweet
All are in one perfect – petite
One beautiful and loving wife
The five with whom I will spend my life

 

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Circle of Five.”

Posted in Creative Writing, Family, General, Poetry, Writing

Intentions

Intentions

By Scott Bailey © 2015

“It was just a bit of fun”

To the broken hearts and home

“I meant no offence”

To the victims of riot and guns

“I was just following my dreams”

To the crushing weight of debt

“I will never do it again”

To the frightened wife and child

“I was trying to save some cash”

To the shattered future lost

“I thought I knew best”

To the chances that are gone

“My intentions were good”

To the consequences of action

 www.scottandrewbailey.uk

Posted in Creative Writing, Family, General, Poem a Day Challenge, Poetry, Work, Writing

Poem a day challenge #168 (Glory Days)

Glory Days

By Scott Bailey © 2013

So the soldier walks alone
beneath the
starry night
He has no aim but distance
from the bloody fight
But the war it still pursues him
snapping at his heels
He slips into the forest deep
beyond those broken hills

O glory days
Those glory days
They’ve shattered
and they fade
They only left a rumour
A shadow
where they laid

So the sword is silenced
with a deep and lasting chill
In his heart, the war goes on
the beating never still
Behind the hallowed orders
that laid so many low
Is revealed the empty truth
the sickest, cruellest blow

O glory days
Those glory days
They’re gone
they never were
So the soldier walks away
from guilt
that he defers

www.scottandrewbailey.uk

 

Posted in Creative Writing, Family, General, Poem a Day Challenge, Poetry, Writing

Poem a day challenge #164 (Word Journey)

Word Journey

By Scott Bailey © 2013

Clang, chip! clang chip! Clang chip! Blow.
Scratch, dip. Scratch, dip. Scratch, dip. Flow.
Block, press. Block press. Block, press. Squeeze.
Click, roll. Click, roll. Click, roll. Please.
Clackety clack. Clackety clack. Clackety clack. Slide.
Tip tap tap. Tip tap tap. Tip tap tap. Pride.
Stone to scroll to press to type to screen.
Where next the word?

www.scottandrewbailey.uk

 

Posted in Creative Writing, Family, General, Poem a Day Challenge, Poetry, Writing

Poem a day challenge #157 (Fireworks) (Triolet)

(Fireworks) (Triolet)

By Scott Bailey © 2013

Hand in hand we all walk tonight
Mother, Father and loving son
Watching darkness bursting with light
Hand in hand we all walk tonight
Sky flowers blooming burn our sight
This time of year is always fun
Hand in hand we all walk tonight
Mother, Father and loving son

www.scottandrewbailey.uk

 

Posted in Creative Writing, Family, General, Poem a Day Challenge, Poetry, Work, Writing

Poem a day challenge #141 (Bound to Serve)

Bound to Serve

By Scott Bailey © 2013

Bound to serve
The master that we crave
Enduring the pain
Not struggling in the ties
That bind
Taking the punishment
Utter submission
Belittled
Stripped
Of dignity
All for the reward
The release
The coin

www.scottandrewbailey.uk

 

Posted in Creative Writing, Family, General, Poem a Day Challenge, Poetry, Work, Writing

Poem a day challenge #139 (Candles)

Candles

By Scott Bailey © 2013

15th Oct: a wave of light and love
15th Oct: a wave of light and love (Photo credit: scribbletaylor)

One lumen
The light of a candle
It can be seen they say
For many miles
Candles burn tonight
One for each lost angel
Light that will been seen over many years
Still bright in our minds
A million candles
A fiery sun of bittersweet memories
The burning potential
Of lives that never were

www.scottandrewbailey.uk

 

Posted in Creative Writing, Family, General, Health, Journal, Mankind Limited News, Review, Work, Writing

What a Week

It’s been a hell of a week – hence a quiet one on here for me.

My wife went to a very emotional funeral to send off her Uncle. While My parents got to see the granddaughter they haven’t seen for nearly 10 years!

My wife also had an appointment about our youngest’s diagnosis of Autism. While I had excruciating physio on my frozen shoulder.

On top of that, server problems of the worst kind meant that I was working well beyond midnight for half the week.

The result being I have had very little time this week. No time to write, no time to take advantage and spread the word about the wonderful review I received for my book (see what I did there) – other than retweet all the retweets!

So the stats are down and so my energy levels.

The plus side has been that the kids have spent a lot of time this week with my brothers and their families. And they have enjoyed that a LOT!

I cannot thanks them enough for their support this week and in recent weeks. It has bonded our family even more I think. Even if it did mean Uncle Daniel getting dunked in the swimming pool a lot and being roped into Batman Games all day and Aunty Carol and Aunty Charlie falling in the sea!

IMG_3445

Posted in Creative Writing, Family, Poetry, Writing

Life and Death

OK. So the prompt immediately and powerfully took me to one place only – and though it’s gloomy – that’s what I had to write. And I couldn’t get it into one Haiku no matter what I tried – so instead I wrote two linked – with the traditional contrast between the two rather than inside the one.

I promise to write something cheerier next time.

By Scott Bailey © 2016

Potential new life
Excitement when waters break
New life brings us cheer

Six forever hours
Caressing a fading pulse
All cheer drains away

 

In response to RonovanWrites #Weekly #Haiku #Poetry Prompt #Challenge #102 Birth&Cheer

#Ronovan Writes Haiku Challenge

Posted in Creative Writing, Family, General, Poetry

The Lies We Tell Boys

The media lies. We all know that. Sometimes, though, it is very subtle.

Like what it tells us about being a man.

Everything we see gives us the same message. The brash businessman dispensing his wisdom, the cocky chancer charming the ladies, the whisky guzzling spy or DCI. Even the greedy bankers and the corrupt politicians – who we all condemn but are still reaping their rewards.

They all tell us the same thing – to be a man and be a success – be strong, take what you want! No one will give it to you so grab it with both hands.

Far more subtly than that but that’s the message.

I have come to a different conclusion lately. To be a man, properly (and I don’t claim to be this by ay means) you have to learn to give. To give of your strength – and to keep giving when your strength has run out. Give your strength to those you care about.

When you’re in love
Nothing matters
Yes, there are annoyances
Sacrifices
Anger
Even tears
Nothing matters
Savour the moments
Bask in the sunlight of her smile
Be warmed by her touch
And keep on giving
Your strength

By Scott Bailey © 2016

Posted in Creative Writing, Family, General, Health, Journal, Poetry, Self Publishing, Short Stories, Technology, Work, Writing

Thoughts and updates

So his blog has been a bit quiet lately – mostly reblogs. I was ill for a while, then my kids were ill. Work has been stressful as usual and life has been in the way.

But I have managed to do some writing, just not for blogging purposes. I have edited my latest collection of short stories. I have half of one very short one left to do.

This is the first round of editing. Basically rewriting them – they are very old so I was improving them. I am pretty much seeing them as first drafts.

The second round of editing will be proofreading and looking for mistakes. Then they will be ready for publishing.

So I have not dedicated so much time to blogging. That may continue! I will try to do Ronovan’s Weekly Haiku Challenge and something else every now and then. Beyond that, I will be mainly trying to market the two books I have already published.

On a more positive note – I got a new laptop – a hybrid laptop/tablet. It’s only small and not powerful but does exactly what I need – makes it easier for me to write even when I can’t sit at my desk and do so. It also means an end to my non – windows household but hey ho.

Next, I’ll be getting a windows phone! Only joking! But a new phone is on the books. Just have to decide which one.

Talking of phones – I was thinking about the article I wrote a while ago about phone snooping. What brought this thought on was something my wife said.

For work, I quite often have to go to our manufacturing partner, to drop things off, pick things up, sort out problems with testing etc. The place is called Simtek but for some reason, my wife always calls it Semtex. So when she said to me this morning, are you going to Semtex this morning – I suddenly had visions of alarm bells going off in some CIA listening station!

Oh well – getting arrested by the CIA might be just the thing to boost my book sales!

 

Posted in Creative Writing, Family, Fiction, Health, NaNoWriMo, Science Fiction, Short Stories, Writing

NaNoWriMo Day 8

Crashed and burned. Spent all day in hospital yesterday with our youngest and looks like same today. So no words yesterday and probably the same today.

I don’t think I’ll be likely to catch up so think I am going to write  it off this year and get back to my short stories at a more relaxed pace.

 

 

 

NaNo-2015-Participant-Badge-Large-Square

#NaNoWriMo